5 Realities of Grief That Will Make Coping More Manageable | Guest Post By Nat Juchems
Loss is something we all will experience, at some point in our lives. But, this fact doesn’t make this painful process any easier. When you lose someone you love, your life is irrevocably changed. This painful experience can be impossibly difficult to accept as reality. Even when you attend a memorial service or take home your cremation urn, it is still hard to come to terms with the idea that this person is truly gone. Grief can feel like an closing wound that will never heal completely. Undeniably, grief is inescapable, but the only way out is through. Here are 5 realities about your grief that will help you cope with this exasperating process.
- When It Comes To Grief, There Are No Guidelines or Time Limits
When it comes to grief, there are no hard and fast rules. There is no set time that decides when you should stop feeling sad or ready to move on. Grief is an oncoming process that needs to be experienced. Otherwise, if you try to suppress your feelings or feign happiness, these feelings will only fester into bigger wounds later on. In an effort to offer you support, your loved ones may use the clichéd phrase ‘time heals all’. While these words are said with good intentions, they can also work to minimize your pain. That’s why, if you hear something of this effect, you shouldn’t take them to heart. While time will evidently ease the heavy burden of your grief, you will never completely reconcile with the loss of someone you once held dear.
- Grief is Not Straightforward Process
We are all familiar with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While these stages offer hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the grieving process is not exactly this straightforward. From an outside perspective, these stages create the misconception that grief occurs in a series of neat and progressive stages. But, this is not always the case. Grief cannot be defined under a single umbrella definition.
Just like a roller coaster, the grieving process is sure to send you through a series of loops as well as ups and downs. When dealing with loss, you could feel like you’re moving forward one day and then falling down the next. That’s why it’s important not to feel discouraged if you feel like you’re not making any progress. Focus on the small successes first and then slowly push yourself forward.
- Grief is Not The Same For Everyone
Grief is a personal experience, which means that each process is unique. Comparing your grief to another’s is a meaningless and discouraging cause. Grief is not a competition, so don’t feel the urge to falsify your progress for the sole purpose of keeping up appearances. This practice will only prove to wear you out and potentially make your grieving process harder to manage. Instead of looking at others in a similar situation, it’s important to focus on your road ahead. After all, grief will lead you down your own path to follow.
- Your Loving Memories Will Always Stay With You
When you lose someone, grief tends to cast a dark shadow over your memories. While, it’s essential to allow the negative emotions to run their course, reflecting on the good times will help ease the pain in your heart. Celebrating the memory of your lost loved one will guide you down the path to healing.
- Healing Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
Maya Angelou quotes are renowned for their power in every situation, and her poem, When I Think Of Death, is particularly poignant for those experiencing grief. It reminds grief is painful to each and every one of us because of the memories about that person that exist within. It’s easy, then, to see that many of us link healing with letting go or forgetting about these memories. The connection you shared with your loved one was sacred and therefore can never be severed. While you may feel the extent of this loss, after some time you will feel ready to accept happiness and love into your life again. But, don’t expect everything to happen all at once, you will know in your heart when the time is right. When dealing with grief, take it day-by-day or if even that seems too much, hour-by-hour. Remember that you are progressing at your own speed, so there’s no need to hurry.
Nat Juchems is the Marketing Director at Green Meadow Memorials, Nat helps those grieving the loss of a loved find the right cremation urn to cherish. Before becoming the Marketing Director at Green Meadow Memorials, Nat worked for six years in the memorials ecommerce industry as a Marketing Director and E commerce Director, using his skill set to manage powerful paid search and organic search campaigns as well as implement merchandising strategies and manage the software development teams that made everything work. Nat enjoys spending time with his family and balancing that with training for triathlons