How An *Actual* Healthy Relationship Can Help Your Mental Health | By Sara Nutaitis
I have the word actual marked so its more noticeable in the title. This was not an accident. I mean actual healthy relationships, not seemingly healthy relationships. That’s important.
Last year at this time, I was in a seemingly healthy relationship. I THOUGHT I wanted to be with my (now) ex forever, I THOUGHT I wanted to marry him. I THOUGHT it was my first legit, healthy relationship. Thought was all I did. What was actually happening was me settling for the first guy, in a long time (at that point), to show my love and affection. Before meeting him, I was honestly convinced and ready to accept the fact that I was going to be dying alone. I didn’t want to admit it, but looking back, I think I was settling. I told myself that he was the one, but looking back, there were many red flags that I missed and maybe even ignored. Regardless, our break-up was for the best… and while it took a few days to accept it, and a few weeks to get over it.. I am much happier now. I will admit that I was pretty much checked out halfway into the relationship due to a very “red flag” situation that showed up and became something I just couldn’t ignore.
Let me jump forward to today, well last month. I meet a guy on a dating app- fine, its Tinder, you got it out of me. He seems super funny, and can keep a good conversation. Another jump ’till now, almost a month and a half into our relationship. He is making my smile and laugh, and I get so giddy and excited when I know I am seeing him, still! (This honeymoon phase didn’t last this long into my last relationship… should’ve known then it wasn’t meant to be; we didn’t have the same chemistry as my current suitor and I do now). Current suitor is very much aware of my chronic illnesses, my GAD, and social anxiety. And instead of downplaying it or making it worse by refusing to understand that I can’t help certain things I do, he makes it easy for me by always making me laugh or making sure I am only looking at him. IT HELPS! It really does. Anytime you have people in your life, especially a significant other, understand your illnesses, it helps in so many ways.
So my advice? Look for that if you have mental or physical health issues. Look for someone who does what they can to make you feel better and not like a burden. (Also don’t totally count of online dating if you can help it! It works!) 🙂